we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
