she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
