so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
