he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
