I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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