I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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