I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
