And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
