Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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