U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
