I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I party with great urgency now.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
