he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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