Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
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