I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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