He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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