there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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