Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
