If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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