I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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