On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
