We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
