so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
