it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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