we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
