I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
