Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
