He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
