Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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