David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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