oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Can I color on your dick again?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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