I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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