he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
