College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
