Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
