She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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