I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
