Heybabeimwearingurpanties
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
