I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
