Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Is it because I queefed?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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