Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
