white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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