Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
