What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
