were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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