would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
This house was built for laser tag.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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