Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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