Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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