THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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