He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
