The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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