Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
