It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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