New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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