Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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