Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
