Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
