Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
