Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
